


The Angel From My Nightmares

by PhoenixWritesCatradora



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Child Abuse, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Shadow Weaver | Light Spinner (She-Ra)'s A+ Parenting, Smut, Strap-Ons, Suicidal Thoughts, Vaginal Fingering, during that month where adora was mostly training with light hope, i suck at tagging lmao, my first smut!, or some plot at least lol, please leave comments so i can know if i did good, takes place between seasons one and two, the walls in the castle are soundproof bare with me guys, very emotional 'cause that's how i role
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-20 04:02:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19985776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixWritesCatradora/pseuds/PhoenixWritesCatradora
Summary: A million unspoken words between them leave them feeling empty inside, but there's no turning back now. Or perhaps there is, they just don't want to.---During that long month following the Battle of Brightmoon Catra feels feelings she'd rather not feel and thoughts that should of gone away long ago.Meanwhile, Adora is feeling it too.





	The Angel From My Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> All characters are of legal age!  
> Catra: 19  
> Adora: 19

In her mind Shadow Weaver is not locked up in a cell, but lurking behind every corner. In her mind she is still young and cowering as the woman who raised her commanded her into her chambers after stealing some rations because she had been sent to bed without dinner. In her mind she is still weak. But in her mind she also hates Adora. She hates her so much. Yet there it is again. That aching part of her that had been the most difficult part of her to suppress. The part that flutters and lights up at the blonde’s touch. The part that compelled her to brave climbing under the covers with her and pulling her close during the harshest winters. The part of her that made her weak. Scorpia has noticed that she hasn’t eaten much since the Battle of Brightmoon. It annoys her how much she cares. Only Adora ever cared. But now it’s obvious she really didn’t. She who left her. She who let the pain come and never stop.

 _“Maybe if you actually listened to her she wouldn’t be so hard on you,”_  
_“Maybe she wouldn’t hit if you showed up to training,”_  
_“Maybe you deserve it,”_  
**_“It’s your fault,”_**

What Adora had actually said and what that dark voice in her mind had told her started to blend together after she left her. One thing was for certain. She needed to clear her head.

She had been wandering mindlessly for so long that when she reached the (mostly destroyed) Whispering Woods she had hardly noticed it. She scowled as she reached the place where they had crashed the skiff. Tears started to pool in Catra’s eyes, and though she hated herself for it, she deemed herself secluded enough to let it all out. She unsheathed her claws and let out a guttural scream as she leapt towards anything is sight. Those few remaining trees didn’t look so sturdy after she finished. In the end all she could do was curl up in a fetal position and sob.

‘Pathetic,’ she told herself, and willed her body to stand. It was all for naught, for soon she flopped back down and sobbed again. She no longer cried for the Adora that hurt. Now all that was left in her mind was the Adora she had loved. The Adora she had lost. And maybe that hurt most of all.

The quiet nights shared cuddled close under the covers. How Adora had held her and told her how loved she was after suffering a particularly rough beating. How Adora’s lips had once caressed hers…

‘No!’ she stopped herself. She had a mission now. She knew where to go. Whether to make Adora pay or make Adora hers, she didn’t know. At last she picked herself up and trudged on through the forest towards Bright Moon Castle as the nighttime moons rose in the sky and the darkness made her eyes glow in the depths of the woods.

\---

Adora still could not sleep. Glimmer and Bow had been helpful, but not helpful enough. They could never be _her_ and Adora knew that. She didn’t _want_ them to be her. Still, they never quite understood her like Catra did. Her stories made them shudder and her dark sense of humor was more disturbing than funny to them. She was often left feeling out of place in this new bright and sparkling world. It was almost too much. It was almost _blinding._ Maybe it was for the best that she had been spending most of her time after the battle training with Light Hope, though it oftentimes made things worse. Her holographic mentor had insisted she fight Catra.

“She is your greatest weakness. You must learn to do what is necessary for the good of Etheria.”

“I’m trying!”

“Try harder,” she had simply said before commencing another training session, harder than the one before it.

Each time Catra would get more mean and each time Adora would fail to deliver the final blow, resulting in more of Light Hope’s scoldings. Today she couldn’t take it anymore. This time she had focused on all the cruel things Catra had ever said and did.

_“It won’t be over until I see the looks on your friends faces when they realize **you failed!** ”_

“Light Hope, end simulation!”

She had stormed out of the temple without another word. She couldn't do it. She didn't think she could ever do it.

\---

Adora flinched and sat up in her bed when she heard it.

“Hey, Adora,”

Catra was on top of her with one hand on her mouth and one hand on Adora's, which held her dagger, in seconds.

“Shhh,” she cooed, “Wouldn’t want to waking up your fancy princess friends from their beauty sleep now would you?”

Adora muffled her argument into her hand.

“What was that? I couldn’t quite hear you there,”

Adora glared defiantly up at her before licking her palm. Catra didn’t flinch, but seemed to be intrigued.

“Really, Adora? Using my own tactic against me? That’s low,” she mocked, “Even for _you,_ ”

In a flash Adora pinned Catra in her place and straddled her with her dagger at her throat.

“Underestimating me now, Catra?” she whispered so close to her face that goosebumps rose all over Catra’s body. Catra scowled and kneed her in the stomach before flipping them back to their previous position so that Catra was once again on top.

"Not quite,”

“What do you want, Catra?”

Catra was silent. What _did_ she want? Coming here was stupid in the first place.

Adora’s face dropped and her voice softened meekly as she asked, “Are you here to kill me?”

Catra couldn’t answer that. She knew logically what she should do, what she _needed_ to do... but she couldn’t. She just couldn’t.

“I-“  


Suddenly Adora flipped them again while the feline woman was distracted. Suddenly that dagger was a little too close to her throat.

“Because I won’t let you!” tears formed in Adora’s eyes as she pressed the dagger menacingly harder, pressing against the skin there. Their eyes locked and Adora seemed to be making a decision in her mind. Catra was as well.

‘This wouldn’t be such a bad way to go,’ she thought, looking up at Adora’s angelic face and into those gray-blue eyes that she thought she knew so well.

“Do it,” she snarled.

“What?”

“DO IT!”

Adora was shocked at Catra’s words. The tears have marked a trail down her face and onto Catra’s by now. Catra’s eyes once again watered as she spoke, low and determined.  


“You were my everything, you know? YOU WERE MY _EVERYTHING!_ ”  


“I was only weighing you down, you said it yourself,”  


“I was lying, obviously!” she repeated, “You broke my heart, Adora, you took my fucking heart and you broke it and now I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t _breathe,_ and I want to hate you, but I ca-“ she swallowed shakily against the blade before speaking, “but I can’t. And every time I close my eyes I see you. I see your fucking perfect face and eyes and mouth and-“

She was cut off my lips slamming into hers and the blade clattering to the ground. The kissed back hard. She consumed her hungrily as if she could never get enough. She would never get enough. It would be so easy to kill her right now. Too easy. But that was far from her mind as she flipped her over once more and sealed her fate. A million unspoken words between them leave them feeling empty inside, but there's no turning back now. Or perhaps there is, they just don't want to. Hungry lips migrate to the chosen one’s neck, sucking hard and inhaling deeply.

“Oh, Catra…” Adora moaned softly as Catra nipped her at her pulse point. It sent a pang of something she hadn’t felt in a long time to her abdomen, and nuzzled her harder. This is wrong. This is the opposite of what they should be doing. Catra licks down to Adora’s collarbone and kisses her feverishly like a promise. The only promise they could keep. ‘I will not finish until Adora is mine,’ she thought, ‘I will not finish until she is ruined,’ then Adora moans again and that fire inside her rages on and she can’t help but add, ‘I will not stop until she ruins me,’

Soon she’s clawing at Adora’s shirt and the blonde only disconnects their lips briefly to take the shirt off herself. She didn’t want to ruin the “sleeping shirt” Glimmer had lent her. Adora’s bra, however, is ripped off by Catra’s teeth before Adora could stop her. She laughs, a beautiful sound, at Catra’s impatience. It’s cut off by Catra’s mouth on hers.

“Why do you princess freaks need special clothes just for sleeping? What a waste of resources,” Catra mumbles against Adora’s lips, who in turn giggled and kissed her harder. Their hearts screamed at the familiarity in their banter and the longing in their laughs. This is love. This is dangerous.

Their tongues explore forbidden landscapes and Catra pushes Adora harder into the bed, grinding against the girl beneath her. Adora whimpers and starts to pull Catra’s own top up her body until Catra leans back to take it off. Adora starts to remove the bra, when she stops, uncertain, looking up to meet her eyes.

“Is this… okay?”

“Is it?”

“I… I don’t know. I want it to be,”

“I do, too,”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes,”

“Yes!”

“This doesn’t mean I like you,”

“I mean, I didn’t say anything,”

And with that, their lips were joint once more. Adora finally unclasped Catra’s bra and threw it to the floor with vigor. Catra moaned audibly at the contact of bare skin on skin.

“I want to taste every inch of you,” she decided, licking once again down Adora’s pale body, lingering on birthmarks and scars from their childhood. When she got to Adora’s waistband, she paused. This was the point of no return. She remembered her punishment for defiling Adora. It was only once, in a storage closet in one of the Fright Zone’s many halls. Adora had started it, and greedy hands down pants had its consequences. Well, at least she had them. Adora got off easy. Catra? Not so much. Catra shook off the memory and took the plunge, pulling off Adora’s bed shorts and underwear as one. Adora shivered at the nakedness, but clung tighter to Catra’s hair.

“Oh, Catra, Oh, Catra, O-oh my gods! Mm…” Adora’s yelps of pleasure spurred her on as she licked a stripe down Adora’s very wet vulva. Adora gasped as she licked into her harder. “Mm, I can’t wait to taste you, too,” she sighed, turning Catra’s cheeks redder and encouraging her further. Adora’s hands groomed through her hair, and Catra moaned against her heat when she felt a sharp tug.

Catra changed tactics and went for her clit, grabbing a hold of it and sucking. “Ahh!” Adora yelped, and Catra added a finger to the mix, pushing it inside of her before adding another one. That had Adora screaming. ‘Geez, she’s louder than I remember,’ she thought, blaming it on her dry spell, ‘Not that I’m complaining,’ She started to wonder how the rest of the castle hasn’t woken up yet. It didn’t take long after that before Adora felt the pressure begin to build up. She knew what was coming.

“C-Catra? I think I’m gonna… hrrngh…” Catra sucked and pumped her fingers even harder than before.

“Do it, come for me! Please, Adora, I need you,”

That threw her over the cliff and into the pit of a pleasure she had all but forgotten. Her vision sparked with a thousand fireworks and Catra watched it all with hungry eyes, milking it through her the whole way. When Adora finally came down, she realized she had been screaming Catra’s name. She panted as she watched Catra lick her fingers clean above her, smirking. Adora had an idea.

She opened her mouth hungrily, stretching her neck towards the wet fingers. Catra blushed as she caught on and slipped them in, fucking her mouth with her fingers.

“You have no idea how hot this is,”

Adora responded by taking the fingers deeper into her mouth. They slip out with a wet pop.

“I notice your pants are still on. They must be soaked. Don’t worry, I’m going to take care of you,”

Catra laughed, despite how it turned her on.

“What?”

"You’re such a dork when you try to sound sexy,”

Adora wiggled her eyebrows jokingly in response, making Catra laugh harder. She hasn’t been this happy since Adora left. The realization weighed on her heart. When Adora noticed her face drop she sat up and flipped them over.

“No more joking. Now it’s my turn,”

Adora then slid off of her and walked over to her bedside table.

“Um, Adora?”

When Catra saw what Adora was retrieving she scrambled back.

“Adora!?”

“For the honor of Grayskull!”

Catra was searching for the dagger, before deeming that it would be worthless in a fight with She-Ra. Then something weird happened. The sword started to change. Catra knew it could do this, of course, but not like this. Sex toys are usually something that only the highest ranking Force Captains could get a hold of in the Horde if they were discreet and knew where to look. Catra wasn’t a stranger to them, she had tried a vibrator once after her promotion, but this was different. Catra looked at the strap-on, then to Adora, and then bent over laughing.

“A magic dildo, Adora?” she could hardly talk over the laughing. Adora flushed in embarrassment. “Don’t get me wrong, Adora, it’s hot… and big...” she was nearly salivating over it, “But you’re crazy if you think I’m letting you put your magical ‘She-Strap’ inside of me,” _or letting She-Ra fuck me,_ she didn’t add. Adora’s smile fell, disappointed.

“Of course. I’m sorry, we’ll just do something else-“

“Wait! Um, actually,” she looked back longingly to the strap-on, “On second thought, maybe we’ll try it out,”

Once She-Ra removed her clothing again she lined up her body with Catra’s, pulling off her ripped leggings. Sensing things were about to get wild, Catra even removed her beloved head-piece.

“Are you ready?”

Catra smirked, “Yes, ma’am,”

Its length slid into her with relative ease with how wet she was.

She could feel every ridge, every bump as it stretched through her tight walls.

“Oh!” she moaned as it bottomed out.

“You doing okay there, Catra?”

“Mm-hm, just, oh, right there, ah!”

Then Adora started to pull out.

“Adora…” she hissed, seeing sparks. ‘Pull it together, Catra!’ she yelled at herself, ‘You’re never this easy!’  
Then Adora slammed back into her.

“WOAH! FUCK!”

“Was that too much?”

“AGAIN! PLEASE!”

She-Ra pounded into her once more. They soon got into a rhythm, and they started to pick up speed.

“FUUCK!” she moaned, “There, again! Please, move! Okay, ha!” she laughed in a higher pitch. The bed started creaking over the weight of She-Ra totally obliterating her enemy with the Sword of Protection.

“There?” She-Ra asked in a small voice that fueled the flames in the girl below her.

“Yes, Adora! Fuck me!”

“Yeesh, so demanding,” she muttered. Catra was too far drowned in her heaven to respond. From where Catra was getting utterly fucked she could almost make out long scars on She-Ra’s back that she had noticed on Adora earlier. It hurt her heart, but she decided that her complicated feelings could wait until later, because right now the immense pleasure was all she could think about.

“Come on, Catra… I love you,” she whispered into her ear, and that was all it took for Catra to reach nirvana. She all but shrieked as she rode it out. Adora once told her when they were younger of a dream she had where the night sky was filled with shining lights called stars. Like hundreds of her freckles sprinkled across the sky. That is what Catra saw when she reached her peak. At last, She-Ra pulled out the strap and de-transformed. She sat there for a moment before throwing the sword aside and climbing into Catra’s arms.

Finally. _Finally._ They got to sleep. It was the earliest hints of dawn when Catra awoke, kissing Adora tenderly on the forehead before dressing. She went to reach for her head-piece on the nightstand when a hand met her’s.

“Please stay,” a sleepy, desperate voice called, and like a siren, Catra almost obeyed. Almost.

“You know I can’t,” she snatched her hand and her head-piece away, “and I won’t,” she fixed it onto her head, before leaping onto the window sill.

“Will you at least come back?” Catra paused and turned at this, “I-I told you I wanted to taste you, didn’t I? And yes, I know this doesn’t mean you like me, I just… please?”

“Tomorrow night. I’ll be here. Don’t forget,” and with that she disappeared into the forest.

“I won’t…” Adora whispered after she was long gone.

\---

When Catra left her quarters later that morning, Scorpia was worried about why she was out so late the night before.

“You’re Second-in-Command now, Wildcat, you can’t disappear on me like that!” she whined, as Catra tried to duck around her massive co-worker (and, though she’d never admit, friend), “Plus I was really worried about you,”

“You’re not my commanding officer, and certainly not my mother,”

Scorpia sighed, “By the way, Hordak wants you at the next assignment meeting. Our next target is finishing off the Whispering Woods while it’s still weak,”

“We destroyed the Whispering Woods,”

“And now the princesses are trying to rebuild it,”

“Ugh, okay, tell him I’m on my way,”

“Okay! I’ll meet you the- there?” Scorpia noticed that Catra was now nowhere to be seen.

As Catra trudged around Scorpia and towards the meeting room she couldn’t help thinking about the night she spent with Adora and hated herself for longing for the next one.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a reference to Blink 182's I Miss You.  
> How did I do? Don't forget to leave a comment! (:


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